Final Blog Entry: Reflection

When I stop to reflect on the entries I have written in this blog, mainly the ones I have done outside of class, I notice that it has been a pivotal part of a healing process for me. Going through something as tragic as having my whole town ripped apart on my graduation day (of all days!) is something that will take me the rest of my lifetime to cope with. However, being able to write about it, whether other people read it or not has been a way for me to express my feelings and deal with the issues I have. I want to thank you, Mrs. A., for putting us up to a project like this. I have always considered myself a good writer, but I believe this has made me better. It has definitely made it easier for me to find things to write about. Then, once I have that idea it is easier for me to put it into words, and type them into my computer. I am the type of writer that longs for an emotional connection to my work; It makes it easier to write, and I feel I do a better job if I do. I do plan on continuing to write, it may not be every day, but it has now become sort of a coping mechanism for me. Thank you, again.

An Essay: I believe in growth!

My 'This I Believe' essay that I wrote is something that I'm very proud of! I felt the need to post it on here so that others could read it. From the comments that I recieved from classmates it seemed that I affected them in a postive way, making them step back and take a look at their own lives. I absolutely love this! I love helping other people and allowing them to see a different perspective on things. To me, a majority of things in life depend on  perspective and how you approach situations. If you choose to go into things with a 'woe is me' attitude it's not going to result in a postive outcome. However, if you go into things with an open mind I believe you will find things turn out much better! So, here is my essay, please comment and let me know what you think!

I believe in growth.

“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.” - Benjamin Franklin. Growth is an essential part of our life in all different ways. I believe in growth physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.   Without growth we remain a child, always relying on others for support. Let’s start from the beginning:

When you were a child, learning to walk, it didn’t just happen. You had to learn to crawl and  build your muscles; when you had enough strength you stood up for the first time. In the beginning you had the support of your family, holding you by the hands while you tried to gain your balance. After you accomplished the task of balance you tried walking on your own.  Once you figured out that landing on your face isn’t a fun thing, you chose to grow and learn to walk. You tried and tried again; you fell. You even experienced scratches and bruises, but slowly, you built your courage. Then, eventually, you did it; you grew from a baby that could crawl, to a toddler that could walk.

When you had mastered the art of walking, you grew into running, and then you grew into sports. When you grew into school, you began to form relationships with friends, and that was a major step in your life. You formed bonds with other people, and as you grew older those bonds grew stronger. Those bonds were tested, some of them broken. After you experienced the heartbreak of losing friends, you grew to know who to trust in your relationships. The more time you spent with a person the more they rubbed off their actions and opinions on you, and vice versa. Before you knew it, you not only began to think like each other, but also act like each other. You learned to know the way they: walked, talked, cleaned, and cooked. You grew together, and became one soul.  Together, you lived your lives – always connected, forever intertwined. However, this could not last forever. You had to face another growth spurt, and let go of that person.

You learned to grow on your own, not relying on others anymore. After being let down by other people in certain situations you came to understand that you, and only you, could control your life. You became strong in your values, opinions and knowledge. However you did not go through life alone, you kept friends, co-workers, and family all around you. Through them you experienced other cultures, music, food, and religions. They became less of a crutch and more of a wheelchair: when you were younger you needed people to support you. However, now, you allowed them to transport you into a different place where you could learn new things!

 You no longer needed other people to live – you grew to live for other people. Suddenly, it wasn’t about just your life, it became about others. Like a climax in a story plot, you grew to the highest point of your life. When you reached this point in your growth, you decided to help others grow as well. You looked towards the younger generation, and you told them of your mistakes, in hopes that they wouldn’t make the same ones. However, you knew that they had to go through tough situations in order to grow themselves.

You watched the younger generation grow, as you grew older. While growing older, you also grew wiser and smarter in your ways. People looked toward you for advice because of your strength that had continued to expand over the years. You had encountered some things that people never live to see. Those events made an impression on your soul and made you stronger than you were before. Every time you had a chance to grow - whether it was mentally, spiritually, physically, or emotionally – you took the chance. A new job, something you had never done before, but you conquered it in a short period of time. You ran a marathon to raise money for Cerebral Palsy. You went to a Sunday school class to grow with your God. A realization that you had to let go of the people you love was the hardest one for you to get over, but with time you grew to overcome that, too.

In our life, we encounter tough times that knock us down so that, when we stand back up we are stronger and better than before. Too often people tend to overlook the bad times and focus on the good. They can choose not to reflect on the past because they’re scared of failure, or of someone else noticing their flaws. However, if you don’t stop to reflect on past mistakes you’re going  to end up making the same mistake again, if not more than once. In order to grow and improve ourselves as a person, and emotionally, we must take time to focus on our flaws; to see what mistakes we are making, and to correct them. If we don’t achieve growth then we never fully appreciate what life has to offer. Take time to stop and experience different things and seize every opportunity to grow and expand as a person, because it’s only then that you will be fully satisfied in life.

In Memoriam: Will Norton

Though I wasn't extremely close with Will I did have him in two of my classes. One of them, my English AP class he sat one row over and a seat in front of me. For a semester of my Chemistry 2 class, (he ended up dropping the class at semester) he sat right behind me. Through both of those classes I could have reached out and touched him. It kills me that I never did, because now I no longer have the opportunity to. Will was the quintessential 'All American' boy. Though he didn't play any sports he was extremely smart, friendly to everyone he met and he was advanced at anything that involved computers or cameras. The best part about Will is he always had a smile on his face! There wasn't ever a day where I could tell that he was stressed or worried about anything other  than just enjoying the day that God had blessed him with. He was the best Christan I have ever met, though he never forced his views or opinions on anyone else. He gave everyday of his short life to God and let him accomplish things that few people will ever have the chance to achieve. In the 18 years that Will lived he did everything he had wanted to accomplish: he got to see the great wildebeest migration when he traveled to Africa; he got accepted into Chapman University, one of the most prestigious film schools in the country; while traveling with the Constitution Team to Washington D.C. for National competition he rallied with others outside the White House after the announcement had been made that Osama Bin Laden was dead; he met his idol, Kat Von D, who would later do a drawing in his memory.

At his Celebration of Life ceremony, his family chose to show a compilation of his videos to basically allow Will to narrate his own funeral. It also showed his complete joy in life. Below is one of my favorite videos that they showed. I think it captured the essence of Will perfectly. He was always energetic and happy, and that definitely shines in this video.

I wish that I had taken the time to do more things with Will when he was still here. However, I know that one day sooner than I think I will meet with him again. At that time we will have an eternity to celebrate our lives and spend time  together. Now, I just try to live my life the same way will did: giving everyday to God, and basking in the joy and happiness of everyday that he gives to us.

Rebuilding: A Work in Progress

Outside the Lines: Joplin Eagles

The video above shows only a small part of the recovery process in Joplin. I was hoping to catch it on tv when it aired Sunday morning. However, I got called into work early and was unable to watch it. When I checked my Facebook later that day I found that someone had posted this link to the video. Between Sunday and now 9 of my friends have also posted links to the video, including me. I got up the nerve to watch it tonight, and cried a couple times through it. Tears of joy, admiration and some of sadness. Quinton's story is one that I never fully knew until last weekend when I visted for the homecoming game. Watching him walk out onto our field, holding hands with the rest of his captains was a moving experience. Hearing his name announced as a captain, even though he wasn't playing was even more emotional, for me. It was great to know that even though he couldn't play, he was still considered a pivotal role in the team. All of the players look up to him as a beacon of strength and courageousness, and I greatly admire that. Though his parents are gone, and him and his sister are seperated - living in two different houses, he is still strong. It takes a lot to go through something as traumatic as he did, and still be grounded and strong.
Being back at the football game last Friday night was an amazing feeling! You could tell that everyone felt a little better sense of normalcy in being there. Since the other venues for sporting events were destroyed the school has had to find alternate places to hold games and tournaments. Though the teams are formed most of the players aren't together anymore since the schools are seperated by classes. While the players generally see each other at practice daily, they aren't getting the bonding time they would normall recieve if they were all in one central location for 7 classes, every day. The football field is the only place that everything is the same: the players, cheerleaders, band, students, and parents. I guess you could say that it all feels right. Everything is in it's place, just as you left it pre-tornado.
The rebuilding in Joplin is still a major work in progress, and will continue to be for a number of years. The high school and St. Johns still stand (or sit in rubble, may be a better term to use for the high school). Demolition has yet to begin on either plot of land, as the final details are still being discussed with the city. I hope that the process of tearing down, and eventually rebuilding will begin soon. I look forward to hearing great things later this week, as Extreme Home Makeover visits Joplin. They plan on rebuilding 7 houses in 7 days, with the help of volunteers throughout the city.  I wish that I could go down to help but my work and school schedule just won't allow me to.
I can still say that I am proud to be from Joplin, and I believe I always will be. It is so interesting to see how one major event can change your entire perspective on things! When I walked across the stage at graduation I was so excited to be moving on and taking the next step in my life. I had planned to move to Springfield at the end of the summer. I was ready to get out of Joplin and its small town ways and meet new people. All my life I had dreamed about getting out of Joplin and doing bigger and better things. However, after the tornado hit I felt very guilty (and still do) for leaving my hometown in such a state. I long everyday to be back in my hometown helping rebuild with everyone else. I can't wait to go back home and get settled again, and live my life where I grew up.

Main Street Drag

As I turn onto 9th and Main St, the cruising drag in Joplin, I am filled with joy as I see people I know! Cars line both sides of the street. Some are new and flashy: a couple Camaro's; others trashed and filled with junk; jacked up trucks, blaring country music; sporty race cars bumping loud bass systems; on a good night there will be anywhere from fifteen to twenty crotch rockets. The sounds of screeching tires and engines roaring fills my ears. I hear people yell random things from various cars, many of them are guys cat-calling some of the girls. As it passes I hear a truck's exhaust flare up, then I'm instantly covered in pollution and the smell of smoke. I make a stop down at the gas station at C and Main. I talk to a few people congregating around, the clerk inside eying them wondering if he should call the cops. I walk inside make a right turn open up the 3rd door from the right and grab a Red Diamond Sweet Tea. On a hot, summer night there is nothing more soothing on your parched throat. As I walk to the counter I get out two dollars from my pocket, waiting in line to be helped. The clerk and I exchange some words, getting details on how the past week has been. I return back outside to see cars constantly driving into the lot, circling around, checking for cops, then peeling out in order to catch everyone's attention. The sound of burnouts and squealing tires is something we have all heard before, but we instinctively look up every time we hear it again.

My Weekend vs. Perfect Weekend

This weekend,  I did what I usually do: work, work and work some more. I worked 6.5 hours Friday night with my two favorite people, Tyler and James. Then came in Saturday and worked 4.5 hours for lunch and another 4.5 to close. Sunday I went back to work another 4.5 hours. Saturday we were busy as usual. I got to meet Chelsie, who normally works during the day, when she does actually show up for work. She had some obvious problems, that I wish not to discuss on here. She worked for about a half hour, then went home. Saturday night was interesting! Tyler, our driver, almost got into a fist fight with someone he had supposedly 'cut off' in the parking lot. This gentleman was showing some major signs of steroid rage, and eventually calmed down and realized that the whole situation was a complete mistake. Sunday was an extremely busy day at work! I think by the end of lunch shift we ended up doing $1,200 in sales, if not more. On top of that we were short-handed, and one of the gentlemen working has a mental disability so that only made things move slightly slower, no offense to him.

The perfect weekend to me would be one that involved lots of relaxing and laying around. The weekend of fall break was very close! I took off of work, went back home to Joplin and spent time with friends and family. The best part was not having to worry about work, school or anything else! The ability to relax mentally and physically was amazing! Plus, I was home! It was so nice to be back home, even though it didn't look the same, and I wasn't necessarily in my home. I cannot wait to move back and be back there permanently. The only thing that could have made that weekend better is if I had gotten the chance to see some more of my friends. Most of the people I went to high school with moved on to bigger universities and didn't have their fall break until this week. Therefore, most of them weren't home. I did manage to go back to a football game and see some old teachers and friends. I greatly enjoyed being home again, and relaxing! An alternative to a perfect weekend would be a beach vacation! I love sitting in the sand and feeling the warmth of the sun on my face while listening to the waves crash upon the beach. On dreary days like these I long for the sunshine and sand! I'm hoping to get to go to Florida (where my mom grew up) this summer. I would love to go for Christmas, but I don't think that will happen until next year, maybe. Taking time off work is never an easy thing to do, but I feel that it's necessary every once in a while to maintain your sanity. All work and no play drives a person crazy!

Hell Weekend: Work Version

I have never pledge in a sorority, though I know that many fraternities and sororities put their pledges through a 'Hell Week'. This weekend at work seemed to me the epitome of 'Hell Weekend' at Jimmy Johns. It was one thing after another, everything that could have possibly gone wrong went terribly wrong!

Friday night: One pivotal event happened this night that started the mayhem of the weekend. Our managers and PIC's (Person in Charge) are the only people allowed to slice, however, they have a major problem with turning the slicer OFF. Many times in a day/night I will see the slicer blade spinning round and round, while no one is at it. My OCD kicks in and I have to turn it off. It's bad on the machine to keep it running and I can only imagine the horror stories we would have if someone was to slip on something and fall into it. Friday night, my manger stepped outside to smoke a cigarette and left the slicer running. Much like usual, I turned it off and kept cleaning. When my manager returned the machine would not start. We fumbled around with it a few times trying everything we could to get it to start: flip the fuse box, reset the machine, change the dial, unplug it, replug it in, change the outlet. Nothing was working! The store manager even came in, despite her screaming child. By this time it was around 11 p.m. and there was nothing we could do to fix it until the morning. Shortly before we close the Illinois girls soccer team came in to order sandwiches, all 30 of them! It had been a crazy night for sales already but the $210 tab pushed us well over our $800 projected night. When we closed at midnight we had done over $1,500 in sales.

Saturday: I returned to work after a few restless hours of sleep to find that our slicer had not been fixed. The Hobart repair man was supposed to come soon. In the mean time, we were down to one pack of cheese, and one pack of beef. We had  no other options but to call another store, at this point we were desperate. My manager called a store on National, they had cheese luckily! While he was on the phone I reminded him that we needed beef, and so did his brother. He left, and returned with only cheese. While he was gone the store got slammed with people. Twenty English soccer players, our usual Saturday crowd, a Tennis team, and even more younger soccer kids and their parents. We were busy making sandwiches but no one had stopped to check bread. It's a daunting task but it is something that has to be maintained for a sandwich shop to do business. If we run out of bread we lose customers, it's that simple. During the day on Saturday we managed to run out of French white bread 3 times, we ran out of beef, and once, we ran out of bread completely: French white bread and 7-grain wheat bread. Add to that: our slicer was still broken and the credit card machine we used for deliveries had also gone out, one employee was a 'no call, no show', and the new employee we had put on register for the rush was not putting tickets up for us to see. Some people waited 30 minutes for sandwiches because we didn't have their ticket, they couldn't remember what they had ordered, and we were out of bread. By the end of the shift, despite all the problems we had still managed to do another $1,500 in sales. Thankfully, when I returned later that night for the end of my split shift it had calmed down significantly. It was a steady night, but nothing too major went down.

Sunday: I went in to work Sunday with one goal on my mind: "Don't run out of ANYTHING today!" I even told the PIC that was her goal for the day! We did not achieve this goal. Some would argue that I jinxed us, I beg to differ. We only ran out of bread once, and quickly got bread from another store. I made a run to get more straws, and cups from a CVS pharmacy right down the road; and another quick trip to exchange $50 for 50 $1 bills. The day was extremely busy, with the English soccer team and the tennis team returning for a second day. Our after church rush was overload, but the crew kept up.

All in all, it was one of the worst weekends to be a Jimmy John's employee! Our store did an incredible amount of business, for whatever reason may be. However, I am extremely glad that I will not be there next weekend to deal with anymore problems that may come up!