Good Habits

I would like to get in the habit of waking up early, like BreAnn. For the past couple of days I have been asleep before midnight and awake around 8 or 8:30. This has given me time to sit down and enjoy my breakfast, and take my time showering and getting ready. It's been nice not having wake up, throw clothes on, eat while I'm driving and be flustered trying to find a parking spot on time to make it to my class. I think I appreciate the day more when I have time to sit and relax rather than be pressured to make a deadline. I'm going to try and make it a habit to get to bed early and wake up earlier than usual. However, I know that come Saturday when I close there will be a kink thrown in the machine. If I close at work I don't get out until 12:30-1 am, then I get home and I'm wide awake and I don't get to sleep until around 2:30-3. I'm tired the next day, and it just starts a horrible cycle of bad things. It isn't something that I can change anytime soon though. I'm stuck with the closing shift, until I switch to days next semester and start a new work and school schedule. Despite this, I'm going to still make an attempt to continue the good habit I've been on, in hopes that it will make life a little more enjoyable. If I'm enjoying the day, I'm happier and nicer to those around me and it just continues a cycle of good things.

Procrastinating

I have a habit of procrastinating, though you told me once that I wasn't procrastinating, rather contemplating ideas. But in all reality I honestly do procrastinate. I will wait until the last possible minute to get up out of bed and rush around getting ready for school or work. I haven't even looked at the 'This I Believe...' essay, let alone start to write my rough draft that's due in two days. I will wait until my grandmother is one day away from coming to see me to begin cleaning my house. I have a problem with procrastinating. The worst part for me is that I KNOW I have it, yet I do nothing to fix it. Try as I might I will always procrastinate. It's like a New Year's resolution, people do it for two weeks then give up. I can attempt to schedule myself and not procrastinate but it never ends up lasting for the long run. There are a few things I don't procrastinate on however: my rent, is always due on time; my gas tank is never empty; and if I'm hungry I never wait to eat. However, these all have consequences to them that are drastic! If my rent isn't paid it is an extra $25 the following day, then it only increases from there. If my gas tank is empty, I can't go anywhere until someone comes to bring me more gas. If I don't eat, I've discovered, I pass out. Procrastination is my weakness. It is also something that I've learned to deal with. I've found that I work better when I'm under pressure. If I know my essay is due Friday and I wait until Thursday to write it, I will most likely write a better essay than I would if I had written it Tuesday. I think it's because I focus more. I know that I have a short amount of time to do something so I block out other distractions. Normally, while sitting and writing an essay I would be watching tv, listening to the radio, or chatting with friends. However, if I know I have to get something done soon I block out all the distractions, and I just sit and write. I always listen to music when I clean, except when I'm in a rush. If I don't have the music I find I get things done faster because I focus more on what I'm doing.

Free Write 9/28

"Get 'from' the day, not just 'through' the day" - Jim Rohn

Another quote I know that goes well with this is, "It's not about the number of breaths you take, it's about how many moments take you're breath away." Life isn't abot just getting through the day it is about learning from it and growing as a person. We all have hard days and easy days, but you learn something new every day! Sieze as many opportunities as you can to learn something new, because it will help you with the next day, and so forth. Life is not about just going through the motions, you have to stop and smell the roses every once in a while. Stop and take time to appreciate life or you'll get to where you have none left regret how you spent it. For me, it's hard to enjoy time that I spend by myself, but once I get in a crowd of people I find myself wishing that I had time alone. Everyday that I spend sitting at home relaxing is a day that I cherish when I find  myself at school among thousands of people. Cherish the time you spend at places, because one day they could be gone and you'll have nothing but the memory left behind. I was overjoyed to be walking out of my high school, saying that I would never go back. Now that it's gone, I wish I had spent just a few more minutes standing among the halls because I can never do that again. Though a new school will be rebuilt it will never be MY school again. Get memories from the day, because those last forever. Take as many pictures and document as much as you can, because that will live on well after you're life is gone. Tell as many stories as you can to younger generations so that you're memories become someone else's memories. Don't just go through the day, live the day! Be happy and enjoy it, because it's one day you can't get back.

Ground Zero

While I was in town on Sunday I gathered up the guts to return to the place where my apartments once stood. I normally stay with my best friend and she lives right down the street, so every time I am in town I am forced to drive by it. However, I have only been there a couple times while the apartments were still standing and the day they tore them down. It's a difficult place to return to, much like the grave of a loved one, or the site of a crash. It has been barely over four months though, and each day I grow stronger in my faith and my ability to cope with the effects and aftermath of the tornado. I decided that it would be a step in the right direction for me to return home. The street was still covered in tree limbs, glass, children's toys and other miscellaneous debris. All the buildings surround it had been demolished, nothing left but foundation, if that.

The woods behind still held siding in the trees, and a bed was left leaning against the tree exactly as it had been before.

My neighbors car was piled with others that had been left behind. I knew that the family was all safe, so I wondered why they hadn't come back for it, but looking at the condition it was in I quickly knew why. Not only was the body of the car beyond repair, but all the windows had been busted out, the inside was covered in debris - it was totaled.

During all of the previous trips I had made back to the apartment we had been inside trying to gather what little things we could from inside the aparment, and in the surrounding areas around it. However, I had not been back into the woods to see if there was anything else hiding in the mess of trees, so I decided I would explore. Before I could even make it into the woods I noticed something that looked extremely familiar, a red fleece blanket. This blanket is one that was meant to be in my mothers bedroom. Eventually it made its way into our living room where I usually fell asleep with it while lying on the couch. Finally it landed on my bed in my room where I would sleep with it every night. It was something that my mom and I continually argued over having. A blanket is not something you necessarily think of as a staple piece but this particular red one, is something that brought back memories for me. To see it rain soaked and discolored struck a chord in my heart.

That red blanket has since been replaced with another red fleece blanket in the living room of my apartment here in Springfield! As I continued to look deeper into the woods I was pleased to find something my mother and I had wondered about ever since the day of the tornado! On the street right next to our aparments were two industrial size dumpsters that the whole complex used to dispose of trash. I stress the fact that these dumpsters were massive! The two walls of my mothers bedroom were destroyed, by what we assumed to be the dumpsters. By process of elimination, we decided there was nothing else that could have ripped the walls compeletely off.

 The dumpsters, however, we never could find! We had hoped that if we found the dumpsters we could find some of my mother's belongings along with it. Much of her room was never recovered because it had been so thrown around in the wind. Looking back between the branches I saw the two blue dumpsters mangled within the brush!

The trip back to the site was just another step in the never ending healing process. I will never be able to forget that day. However, there will be new and better things that will come from it, and I am excited to return to a city that is stronger than ever! I am very lucky and thankful that there were angels among my family watching over everyone and keeping them safe. There is a multitude of different scenarios that run through my head every time I think of that day; things that could have been different than they were, things that kept my family safe. What if: graduation had been at the high school, if it had been earlier or on a different day, if we had been at Cunningham Park for my party, if my mom's boyfriend hadn't stopped at his store, if my dad had left just 2 minutes later, if I hadn't taken my time taking pictures with everyone, if my best friend hadn't freaked out when she heard the sirens. There's a million and one ways that May 22nd could have happened, but I am so greatful that it happened the way it did.

I know that this picture is too big and goes off the page, but I wanted you to see what I saw standing there.

 The barren landscape of the area. The area to the right of my car is where my apartment was at in the complex.

Great Day of Service

This past Sunday I went back home, to Joplin, to help with the Great Day of Service. Great Day of Service itself is a gathering at a local park, with food and music, that is open to the public that has volunteered during the year. This year, however, there was much more volunteers than usual since there was much more to clean up due to the tornado. Officials for the day invited the OTC Culinary students, and the American Culinary Federation to come in and help prepare food for the 5,000 people they were planning on having attend.

When Chef Scritchfield first mentioned this event I was completely on board! Any opportunity I get to go back home is one that I will definitely take. An extra perk was getting school points for doing it as well. Monday in class we worked out the final details, we were to be at Landreth Park in Joplin by 8 am, we would start serving food at 11 am, and should be done and back on the road by 2 pm. I knew that it was going to be a long day, but I didn't expect it to be as long as it turned out to be! I worked until 12:30 Sunday morning then when I got home I was still awake, as I usually am after closing; I didn't end up getting to sleep until around 2:30. My alarm went off much to early at 5:30 blaring upbeat Justin Bieber music hoping to wake me on a cheery, joyful note. I looked outside at the black sky trying to remember the last time I had been up before the sun - to my recollection it had been 5 years! I had not been up that early since the trip I took to New York for modeling, but that's a different story. I peeled myself off my bed, got dressed and headed to McDonald's to get food and Starbucks for a hot chocolate.

By 6:30 I was on the road headed to Joplin running right on schedule. By this time, I've made enough trips back and forth to Joplin to know that at the speed I normally go it takes me exactly an hour to drive there. I headed west, watching the slowly rising sun in my rear view mirror, trying my hardest not to fall asleep at the wheel. I made it to Joplin, stopping before I got to the park to change at a nearby gas station. This event had to have been one of the funniest in my day! To preface this I must say that this particular gas station is one that I have been in probably 200 times in the past year, so I know it well. However, I normally go in at night so I haven't gotten to know the daytime employees well. I walked in, carrying my bag containing my classic, but not fashionable uniform. Headed to the bathroom, out of the corner of my eye, I watched the clerk catch a glimpse at me. It took me less that two minutes to change out of the jeans and fleece jacket that I had on into my checked pants, and chef jacket. I walked out of the bathroom with my apron and hat in hand and caught the clerk look at me, then look again. I chuckled and told her, "Yes, it's the same person, I just changed my clothes!" She laughed, and said back, "Okay! I was just making sure, you looked so different!"

I made it to the park around 7:40, and waited for the others to arrive. Chef Scritchfield had said that he would be there early because he was hauling a hot box on a trailer to the park. I got out of my car, and despite the chill of the fall morning walked around the park to try and find him. He was either invisible or not there, to my surprise. I thought, "Well, maybe he's late." and sat down to wait. Eight o'clock rolled around and Jennifer, another culinary student had showed up, but still no chef. An hour later and Scritchfield had still not appeared, however, a couple more students had. We stood around the park, drinking Starbucks to take the chill out of our bodies for another hour. When 10 am came and Chef was still no where to be found, I was starting to get worried that something was wrong. I knew where they were supposed to be preparing the food so Jenn and I decided that we would drive across town to see what the problem was.

We arrived at the John Q Hammons building to see all the chef's standing around chatting. The ovens weren't on, and there was no food being heated though we were schedule to start serving people in an hour! We went up to talk to Chef Scritchfield and he told us that the service time had been pushed back to noon, and that they were waiting on hot boxes to arrive to transport the food to the park. Around 10:30 the chef's decided to fire up the ovens and begin heating the burritos they had made and wrapped in foil the day before. We were definitely rushing to have everything ready and at the park for service. It was taking 20 to 30 minutes to heat a batch of burritos at a time and we had 2 batches to do. Once they got the burritos heating Jenn and I decided we would head back to the park and let everyone else know what was going on, but not before we made a second stop of the day at Starbucks.

When we returned to the park it was yet a waiting game of standing around, until the burritos arrived. As people started to arrive Jenn and I noticed that the few volunteers they had were having a heck of a time trying to direct traffic. We were searching for something to do, so we walked down to see if they needed any help! Thankfully, the guy was more than happy to sit down and allow us to direct traffic for him. With a sign and two whistles in hand, we cheered up an elderly man by giving him a break, and made the monotonous task of directing traffic the most interesting thing we had done all day. I saw Chef Scritchfield pull in around 11:30 and decided I would walk down to see if he would mind if we continued directing traffic. Luckily he didn't, so back I treked across the park to continue directing traffic.

All in all, I believed we received 6 middle fingers - from some unwilling people. I had one woman personally drive up and roll her window down to complain to me because she followed the crowd to the park and had 'got stuck up there for 20 minutes', when she was simply trying to get home with pizza for her family. I apologized but she wasn't accepting of it. The day got off to a slow start, but ended on some fun times. I was happy to be back home and help serve some of the volunteers that helped with clean up, search and rescue, and rebuilding parts of my hometown.

"Lifted"

I have seen this Disney Short before, mainly because I watch a multitude of Disney movies! Aside from that, I like it! I think everyone has moments in their life like the one this little green dude is having. We're under stress and there are so many things going on we just don't know which way to go. Most of the time we end up being wrong in our actions, and it gets us into a saddened state of mind. However, it just takes one simple gesture from the right person to lift our spirits back up. Then we're back at the wheel of our lives controlling what happens, rather than letting others control it for us.

 The 'man' sleeping in the video reminds me of my Uncle, who is an extremely heavy sleeper. A bomb could probably go off next to his bed flinging him miles away and encasing his body in shrapnel, and he would most likely sleep through it. Don't even get me started on his snoring - you can hear it literally all across the house! That's NOT an exaggeration!

Sometimes I wish aliens were real, because I believe it would lead us into a world much different than ours. I woke up one morning to a show on the History Channel that was about UFOs and I sat and watched almost all of it until I had to go to class. While intriguing as extraterrestrial figures are, I think we would learn more by their ways of living on other planets more than their UFOs. If we could somehow find a way to sustain life on other planets it would change everything that we know today!

Today I choose happiness.

Last night, was just one of those nights. I got into a fight with my father about some things and as I sat in my bed sulking in my own sorrow a thought came to my mind: "Tomorrow is a new day." I pondered that for a while then I chose to go along with it. I knew that I would fall asleep, and wake up to a new day full of happiness, because I wanted it to be. I knew that no matter what had happened last night that today was a new day, meant for new things. It did happen to help that today my best friend, her mother and sister, my Grandpa and Nana are all coming into town. After this class I get to go enjoy lunch with my grandparents at Olive Garden. I get to sit and have endless salad and bread sticks with alfredo sauce! Then I get to go and watch my best friend's sister, who is practically my own sister, win another softball game! I have to work, but it is with the two people I love working with the most! Then I get to come home and have my best friend and her mother stay with me - the first people I have had stay at my house, since I've lived there! I have told them both about my place but they have never seen it since I have decorated and cleaned and got all situated. Dispite the argument with my father, it wasn't the first and I'm sure it won't be the last, I knew that today would be a good day. It is one more day of living and breathing and that makes it one more day of happiness.